Nation, we live in an increasingly fragmented world and are more isolated from one another than ever before. Oh, how I long for Pangaea. We move at a frantic speed yet never leave the chair in front our computer. We console each other by clicking a Like button on any post that ends in FML. Sure we have hundreds of friends online but when was the last time we actually got a phone call from one of them that we could screen and let go to voicemail.
We are alone – all of us, together, as one. But this great nation, this experiment in democracy, depends on us being united, connected and having something to discuss at the water cooler other than the price of water.
And that brings us to tonight’s word:
20 million people tuned in to watch the network debut of Howard Stern on America’s Got Talent.
- They should have been watching America Has Grammar
The honorable Judge Stern entertained us with wit, decisiveness and telling a male stripper magician that he had a small package.
- Disappearing act?
A few years earlier an equally laughable moment was brought to us by five different judges.
- Scalia, Alito, Roberts, Mandel and Osbourne?
In a 5-4 landmark decision the highest court in the land–
- I hope they were high
– said that corporations are people. And since corporations are people, limiting their political contributions would be like limiting their free speech.
- Don’t yell, “Unlimited, untraceable money!” in a movie theater
In order to applaud the court and thank them for protecting innocent and disenfranchised corporations, this Super PAC will be taking in unlimited money to ensure that that right is protected.
- Circular jerk logic
We’re giving the Colbert Bump to Stern and Stern’s “You’re going to Vegas” affirmation to Colbert.
- Perpetual commotion
The fabric of our American society may be made in China… but it is strong.
- Like lead
And in order to protect our common interests, as a society, as Americans, we must come together and act—
like citizens united.
And that’s the word.
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